I rest my head under an ill fit pillow
Speaking softly about my day.
Enjoying the comfort found in the act of covering eyes
I whisper love into the covers
praying to God for the lives of those I interact with.
I can pretend I am a saint
Adorned in white sheets and an angelic voice
But I am tainted with wanting
I would take your hate and wear it around my neck.
Would you let me carry this burden for you?
My pillow is filled with rocks
I place it over my head
And trust it won’t crush me.
your words are lead filled.
And each utterance pierces my soul
I long for the blankness of half closed eyelids
And for the buzz of a clear mind
But somehow your sudden message messed me up. And I am thinking of you again. Even though I thought I was ready to move on and start searching for another. Did I mix pity with love? Or should I consider myself to be the more pitiful one?