I once had a crush on a boy named Michael. It was middle school and I thought he was cute. He was quiet and mysterious with tanned skin and gelled up hair. He dressed like what all Pinoy Pride Fil-Ams wore in 2007: the Filipino flag everywhere (shirt, and shoes mostly). Yeah, he was a total dream to 12 year old me.

The thing was, I wasn’t exactly dream material back then: brace face, heavy square glasses, cystic acne, unconfident. It took all my courage to go up to him and confess.

And it was a total fail. All I did was stutter, and blush, and laugh awkwardly. And, if I remember correctly, I am sure he ran away from me by the end of it. Even after that embarrassing encounter he would avoid me like the plague.

But looking back, I don’t remember being sad about him. I didn’t cry at all, I just felt embarrassed. After all, it was just a crush.